Will life change? Totally?

Over the past few years, Life moved me through various stages:

Confused fearless awesome undergraduate studenthood 

↓

First time on job rookie
↓

Supposedly responsible executive
↓

Early thirties seeking meaning in life

During all the above stages, I classified my friends and well-wishers into categories that were convenient as per the stage of my life I was in: Those who suck and those who don't, those who are funny and those who are sentimental, and those who just drink and puke. 

As I hit the Early 30 "What is the meaning of life" stage, I started thinking about becoming a parent. This was the one time when I found it totally easy to classify my friends. They reacted in such differentiated manner that it was almost automatic selection into categories. Those who were in Dude, Rookie, Executive or Early 30 stages came in two types: First, to whom the word "kids" was "oh my god, they are awful" and second, to whom it was "oh my god, they are cute". I wisely agreed not to listen to them. Remember, I am already in the meaning-seeking stage of life.

Now, there was a category of friends/ mentors/ acquaintances I actually paid attention to. They were usually in their Late 30s or early 40s. Many of them had wives, some had divorced, other were planning to go rafting but most of them had had kids. Now, they also came in two distinct categories based on their interpretation of what happened when they had kids:

1.

Everything will change

2.
Nothing will change

Right eyebrow action

When asked how it was to have kids. The first category parents raise an eyebrow; usually the right one is raised (my right as I face them i.e.) farther up than the left one. They shake their heads several times before speaking. Then, they fix their eyes into a distant horizon remembering either the great time they used to have before the so called bundles of joys came bumping wailing crying and pottying into their lives. They were the Friday Party hunks and babes. They used to be the self-proclaimed ace of the base (whatever that means, sure sounds like wrooommm... speedy you know). Don't get me wrong, they love their children but their stand on life after kids is that no matter what you do, your life will totally change. You will have to discontinue tonnes of stuff that you do randomly and you will have to adjust to the newer version of yourself. They imply that it will mean cutting down on a lot of personal happinesses.

Balanced eyebrows action

When the second category answers this question, they generally close their eyes and hold that smile for an extra uncomfortably long second and then, only half open their eyes. They allow a peaceful sublime grin to spread wide open on their faces. Their eyebrows are also raised but in a smooth fashion and both of them go to the same height. They declare confidently that nothing changed in their lives. They report that they lived life on their terms before they had kids and they live it pretty much the same after they had them. They say they never HAD to do anything, or HAD to change anything except a few nappies sometimes which they did not mind at all. They say that earlier they found a lot of meaning in sticking it to the man on a Friday night in a pub, and now they are reading up on current affairs and pedagogy. Their premise is that change would happen - whether or not you have kids. A 45 year old person with no kids would probably not hit the bar every Friday. So, they are quite sure that they continued to do what they wanted to and kids were never a problem.

As I listen to both sets of my friends, I sit frozen. My eyebrows are each a ton of iron - can't choose between raising one or both. All I can do is swallow and hate the drama added to the situation by the movement of my Adam's apple. I am nervous. I have lived life pretty much as a free soul, although I am not a party goer. I am not really concerned so much about the symptoms as I am about the cause. What I mean by that is I don't mind changing the priorities and preferences of my life with age, times, stages, experiences and roles. What I dread is doing what I do not want to do. Somehow I feel that nothing will change, and life will be far more enjoyable and far more meaningful. 

Is this yet another stage settling in?