Nesting Intincts: Papasoons of the world, listen up!

Says Wikipedia that:

Nesting Instinct

 "Nesting instinct refers to an instinct or urge in pregnant animals to prepare a home for the upcoming newborn(s). It is found in a variety of animals (both mammals and birds) including humans."^[1][2] 

It goes on to say that:
"In human females, the nesting instinct often occurs around the fifth month of pregnancy,^[1][9] but can occur as late as the eighth, or not at all.^{[citation needed]} It may be strongest just before the onset of labor.^[1][10][11]
It is commonly characterized by a strong urge to clean and organize one's home and is one reason why couples who are expecting a baby often reorganize, arrange, and clean the house and surroundings."


I am neither female, nor five months pregnant. Yet, I, a human male, am going through the dreaded Nesting Instinct.

A speck of dust on the carpet of my living room is like a blot of ink on the bedroom sheets. 

A blog of ink on the bedroom sheets is like Curry Masala srinkled all over my house walls.

And just the thought of sprinkled Curry Masala... is like... is like.... is like hyper-ventilation.

I am a soldier these days. My weapons are advanced like a vacuum cleaner and primitive like a broom. But what matters is the spirit. Cleanliness is next to godliness, is what I believe in these days. I have the urge to keep it shining, and polished, and clean, and free of virus, bacteria, fungus, and dust. I do not discriminate anymore. All sorts, forms, scale of muck is equally abhorred. I am on to the journey of the beyond. I have purchased extra supplies of cleaning liquid, just in case. I have backache, from bending over. I believe my future is at stake, and in the line of duty, I shall wash, clean, dry, wipe, rub, polish and even, dry-clean if the situation so demands.

I am but a papasoon, a mere dad, who is to be.